it's just a crime of passion baby, don't hold it against me

i'm not really sure how to update this anymore,
i don't have any exciting photos, and i haven't scanned any school work on my tiny shitbag 2-in-1.
so what have i been doing? i don't know, i think i regularly sleep 5 hours a night at most. i'm not sure if this is how second year is sposed to be, or if i'm just terrrrible at time management. nevertheless, i'm enjoying the work, i'm enjoying being so busy i have nothing else to worry about other than "is this compositionally sound? how could i better move the eye around the page? am i awake or sleeping? have i pissed my bed? are these heart palpatations normal? what happens when your blood-caffiene level reaches 5 times the legal limit?" - which is a welcome change from the ridiculous things i worry about usually. although it has done nothing to change the fact that i feel like i haven't been laid in months (which i guess is because i haven't), it's so fucking aggravating. like i don't even want some annoying boyfriend. when are the god damn japanese going to come out with a cheap, effective, totally marketable to the general public sex doll?... or something resembling the hot and sometimes dead dad from SUPERNATURAL

...ummmmm...
whatever.

god, you know what i'm talking about. i know there's a time frame when you get over it, and just sort of accept the fact that sex isn't a guaranteed thing, and by that time it's really easy to discern who's disgusting and boring and lame, because rejection, rationale and sobriety make you really choosy again... but i'm not there yet. i'm at the "wow, everyones attractive" phase... you know "look at how that coarse hair swirls around that large pink nipple like an asteroid belt, and it's whispering 'come with me into the universe, let me show you how loving our nourishing nothingness can be', or... wow... look that guy has jeans on... with a fly... oh man... there's something TOTALLY under that fly that i could have sex with!!!!" I JUST WANT TO BE TOUCHED! in a hygienic, sterile, non-committal yet extremely passionate fashion.
seriously, donate to my rubber-friend foundation. all forms of payment acceptable.

i thought about going out tonight, but then i started reading a bit, tried to pop a zit, ate a popsicle and lay around drinking the other half of a bottle of some cheap red (good for circulation guys). and began drawing. i've had all sorts of ideas for a short-ish animation to work on, in life drawing the other day it all seemed to come together in my head, so that's what i feel like doing in my free time now, as opposed to attempted home-wrecking. i'm also making the "score" (HAHA!) for it in garageband. no clue what i'm going to do it on, in or anything. it'll probably turn out to be a total shit waste of time, but i spose it can't be any worse than any of my other wastes of time. such as watching HEROES... which i'm really excited to see back on. eli roth is directing an episode, so you know it's going to be suhhh-weet.

i went to union station by myself to draw on monday, it's nowhere near as fun as going with other people, and i felt really on edge, but then there's always at least one horrendous gem that stands totally still for at least 15 seconds. i've thought about going and having a pint or whatever at bars near here to draw, i just don't want some creepo portuguese man trying to paw at my luscious youth and delectable scent. maybe i'll go to yorkville and get bought chocolate martinis by rich business men with casual comb-backs.

i tried learning some dutch this week over podcasts, while doing homework (that being because i wanted to learn one of my two "native" tongues, the other being italian) and well... ew. giving up on that one pretty quickly. anything that sounds like what i do in the morning shower in the dead of winter... i don't think that's going to get me put into the "hot hot hot" category any time soon... guess the aryan fantasy will have to be put on the backburner for now.

seeing as how i bought the BLACKSAD comics 1 and 2, and they both happen to be in spanish (don't ask) i've decided i'll learn that. for a while i used to get spanish sub-titles (always on when leno was on, not that i watch leno) and i realized it would probably be kind of easy to learn. so that's going to be my new podcast conquest (p/s - podcasts are going to save my life this year, i can feel it). anyway it has some really beautiful drawings in it... i kind of told one of the guys at silversnail when i was overly excited to see it on the shelves that when i first saw the art i loved it so much i wanted to punch/beat the book i was driven so wild... or something graphic and sexually violent... kind of embarassed to go back now, i know how creepy customer comments get circulated.


ainslie (and schoolmates) is (are) working on a documentary for her (their) end of semester project. it's about fan fiction/art and its' subculture... which just rules so hard. i wish carolyn and i (CAROLYN!!!!!!) would have gotten our buffy comic done now... i think ainslie got in touch with people at SPACE. oh how i miss satellite. anyway, i'm going to do the art for it... "art".... ha... the lettering for the intro "THE ART OF FANDOM" and without giving anything away, other drawings. probably in black and white... and i'm intent on finding a way to sneak in my own likeness.

still haven't gone to see resident evil 2 yet.
i finally found the PERFECT womans deodorant. for a long time i wore guys ones, because all the baby-scenty stuff makes me nauseous. it's the perfect smell. i won't tell you what it is of course, but it's what sweat dreams are made of.

i think lindsay lohan is some kind of amphibian.
it all makes sense, just look at her, look at that skin.
i bet when she dies she'll naturally pickle and you'll be able to find her in a trinket store like one of those cane toad australian coin purses.


ahhh this post felt really good.

oh and i'm stealing charlene's ideas of using tags, i don't know what they do, but they look fun.